This roller coaster neither rolls nor coasts; discuss...

Cedar Point Amusement Park, the "roller coast" of Lake Erie, has a relatively new ride called the Sky Hawk. And of all the rides at Cedar Point, we thought this one was the most thrilling. It has a ridiculously simple design: two pendula (at the bottom of each are twenty seats) that swing in opposition until the seated sections rise beyond horizontal. At its zenith, the rows of seats are 125 feet above the ground, dangling from an 84-foot pendulum arm. Although this ride has no loops or hairpin curves or zany track, it also has no rude bumps, side-to-side thrashing, or tooth-jangling climbs to the top of the track. It is a smooth, gargantuan swing.

The best part? It had only a 15-minute wait.

We drove up to Sandusky, Ohio, a few days before the Labor Day weekend to catch some good ol' American fun, and boy did we find it! Sadly, we never got to ride the Top Thrill Dragster. It was at the top of our list of rides to try simply because it looked intimidating in action. Unfortunately for us, everyone else at the park wanted to ride it, too. It had a 90-minute wait. We didn't come all that way to spend all day in lines; we wanted to RIDE! We figured we'd have a better shot at it towards evening, as the clouds were looking uninviting and a few sprinkles of rain suggested that the park would soon become less than amusing. Of course, sitting on the edge of Lake Erie, the winds were pretty fierce. The shut down the Top Thrill Dragster because the sensors at the top were registering winds in excess of its 35mph safety limit.

Let's get real. What's the point of calling it "Top Thrill" if they won't let park-goers take the risk of having half the structure torn away by gale-force winds in mid-ride? Seriously, if you know you're gonna make it back alive, where's the thrill?

Our Cedar Point adventure had one other unwelcome discovery: we're getting older. By the end of the day, a mild feeling of nausea had crept into our bellies, and it wasn't from all the cotton candy we were eating. Roller coasters can get a little rough on the digestion after 6 or 7 hours.....